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Do you know what a hammer is? That's what I want, a damned hammer! Now where in the hell would I go? Nearby Customer 1: Hey, that's that Hank Hill fella that lives on the block next to us. and what is a tap-and-die? Hank Hill: Okay, forget it! Let's say I want a hammer.

Buckley: Huh, what is it that you're trying to do? Hank Hill: I'm tryin' to buy a tap-and-die and some WD-40 and get out of this God-forsaken store! Buckley: Uh. Buckley: Yeah, but are you looking for like a tool or something? Hank Hill: What difference does it make? Buckley: Huh, what difference does it make? Hank Hill: Okay, I'm lookin' for a tap-and-die and some WD-40. Hank Hill: Excuse me, where's the hardware department? Buckley: Where is the hardware department? Uhm, hm, what exactly is it you're looking for? Hank Hill: The hardware department. Hank and Bobby at the Mega Lo Mart after Bobby got a black eye at his baseball game. okay, give a hundred and twelve, what's the difference? Look, Bobby. We're talking about a hundred and thirteen, and even. Hank Hill: Look, we're not talking about thirteen. Bobby Hill: Or maybe a hundred and thirteen? Hank Hill: Yeah, yeah, that's even better. Peggy Hill: How about if Bobby gave a hundred and twelve percent? Hank Hill: Ahm. Bobby Hill: But what if the Wildcats give a hundred and ten percent, too? Hank Hill: Well, then you gotta try even harder. That's what'll give you that winnin' edge. Bobby Hill: How do I do that? Hank Hill: You gotta give a hundred and ten percent. If you wanna win, you're gonna have to do better than your best. Hank Hill: So, are you ready to kick some Wildcat butt, Bobby? Bobby Hill: Okay. The Hill family on the way to Bobby's baseball game. Now you get ready for the game, OK? Bobby Hill: Yes, sir. Hank Hill: Mother of God, it's all toilet sounds! Where did you record this? Bobby Hill: I bought it at the mall! It's the Funny Phone Jerks! Hank Hill: Let me tell you, Bobby, there's nothing "funny" about these sounds! What that person on your tape has is a medical disorder. Hank Hill: Well, why not? I like this new generation of music. Hank Hill: Whatcha listenin' to, son? Bobby Hill: I don't think you'd like it. Hank Hill: You're thinking of a Fiat, Dale. You know what they say Ford stands for, don't ya? It stands for 'Fix it again, Tony'. W: Pilot (King of the Hill) Pilot ĭale Gribble: I know what's wrong with it. “Kit's humor is insane! My hat is off to him. Kit's cartoons make me laugh out loud and feel uncomfortable at the same time.” “No holds barred, raunch-out humor is best served cold, and Kit brings it on at dry ice temperature. – Diego Jourdan, comic book artist Ghostbusters, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Without doubt, the best gag-writer in the business today!” Noel Anderson, Hustler cartoonist and morning radio show personality “There are gags here that genuinely make me laugh out loud… but then comes the guilt.” “Kit Lively's cartoons have been determined to cause brain damage in lab rats. Shannon Wheeler, New Yorker cartoonist, creator of Too Much Coffee Man

“Remember the good old days when cartoons used to be funny? Kit is proof that the good old days are still here. “Everything that made us laugh when we were fourteen, and everything that makes us laugh today.” He lives in Dallas, TX with his wife Julie and their two slightly smelly dogs. His cartoons have also been published by National Lampoon, Joe Bob Briggs, Medical Economics, Troma Entertainment, Hustler, SmartAlex Greetings and many other even less reputable places. Kit Lively on Points in Case – Kit is one of MAD magazine's Usual Gang of Idiots, and contributes (along with strip creator Scott Nickel) the regular comic strip feature The Dork Side to MAD.